Unlearn Your “Good” Asian Upbringing
Break free from your "Good" Asian Conditioning that’s quietly destroying YOUR life and get the RIGHT tools to thrive
Calling all my Good Asian boys and girls!
Someone probably told you to try therapy?
Your partner says you shut down during arguments.
You’ve heard it from your partner: "You’re not assertive enough."
Or from a friend: "You're way too hard on yourself."
And you?
You avoid conflict until it explodes.
You work twice as hard, but still feel behind.
You’re tired of feeling like you’re never doing enough.
Tired of dreading family gatherings but going anyway.
Tired of feeling alone—even when you’re surrounded by people who love you.
You’ve probably told yourself:
"I should be able to figure this out on my own."
"I don’t want to rock the boat."
"Everyone’s going through this, right?"
You’ve started to wonder if anxiety, burnout, or those fights in your relationship are signs something deeper is going on.
The Deeper Problem?
This isn’t just anxiety.
It’s not just burnout.
It’s not even just “family stuff.”
Its not a character FLAW.
The REAL issue is your Good Asian Upbringing.
Its showing up in your adult life in ways that no one taught you to recognize.
But heres the hard truth:
Most therapy wasn’t designed for someone like YOU:
You’re shaped by the pressure-cooker of Asian Upbringing.
BUT
Most THERAPISTS don’t treat the cultural conditioning that you’ve gone through
They expect you to have ability to “love yourself” when your parents never showed you how
They’re not able to see past your high functioning, facade, and think that you must be “fine” cause you say you’re “fine.”
Traditional therapy expects you to do exactly what your Good Asian Upbringing taught you NOT to do.
They don’t understand how “tell me how you feel” is just another intellectual exercise.
Or how discovering your “inner child” feel wrong you were told to “grow up”.
Or how setting boundaries with your parents is BETRAYAL.
This isn’t your fault.
BUT it doesn’t mean therapy isn’t for you.
You need A Specialist.
Every other therapist will treat your "anxiety" , “depression,” or "relationship issues."
They maybe even touch on your “intergenerational trauma.”
I treat the root cause: the cultural programming that created these patterns in the first place.
Your Good Asian Upbringing.
I’m Alex Ly, The Bad Asian Therapist.
I’ve helped high-achieving, self-critical, emotionally exhausted Asian Americans go from “barely holding it all together” to finally “feeling held” — by themselves, by the people in their lives, and by a version of adulthood that doesn’t run on guilt and performance.
That’s what I offer you: a way unlearn your Good Asian Upbringing that make sense.
I understand Good Asian Upbringing because I lived it.
I know why you get anxious at all-you-can-eat buffets.
I know why compliments at work make you uncomfortable.
I know why "just be yourself" feels impossible when you were never allowed to figure out who that was.
Not only do I get it (Lots of other therapists might “get it”) I have the insight, know hows, and practical tools to actually OVERCOME it!
And I’ve helped clients just like YOU
They are:
Good sons/daughters who always kept the peace — now speaking up for themselves.
Tech worker and High ACHIEVERS who looked perfect on paper — finally learning how “be enough.”
New parents scared becoming like their own parents — now parenting differently than before.
People-pleasers who never said no — now saying it without apology, and meaning it.
This isn’t feel-good fluff.
It’s real therapy that transform lives and gives you the tools unlearn YOUR Good Asian Upbringing
I’m here to help you undo the programming that never let you be fully you.
If you’re ready to ditch and recover from your “Good” Asian Uprbringing, your chance is here.
Therapy Specializations
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Are you a “Good Asian”? Let’s be real—if you are, there’s a good chance you’re carrying some serious anxiety.
Maybe it’s about money, family expectations, your future, or that constant feeling of not being enough. Whatever it is, anxiety isn’t here to help you—it’s here to hold you back.
But guess what? You don’t have to play by those rules. It’s time to unleash your inner “Bad Asian”—the one who says no to perfection, no to the guilt, and no to the pressure.
Let’s kick anxiety to the curb and make space for the unapologetic, bold, and authentic you.
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Asian americans is the core of what I do. If you identify as Asian, 1st gen, 2nd gen, Asian Ajacent, half asian, or just idenetify with what I say, then I can help you. You deserve a therapist the knows your culture, gets your experience, and is brave enough to challenge your experience.
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What if the struggles you’re facing right now aren’t because you’re “lazy” but because you’ve been carrying weight that isn’t even yours? Let’s get real—at The Bad Asian Therapist, we’re here to unpack the hard stuff. We’re talking about trauma, not just yours, but the kind that’s been passed down through your parents, their parents, and generations before them. It’s time to stop blaming yourself and start understanding the bigger picture.
Therapy Locations
Online Therapy in California
Not near by? Want some convience? Let’s go online! Video therapy can be done by any California Resident
In-Person Therapy in Fremont, CA
Need something more intimate? See me in the flesh at my Fremont therapy office!
